How to use a Fleshlight: tips to get the best experience from the best male toy

You already know what goes where, but that's the least you can do. Get more from your Fleshlight by doing things right

How to clean a Fleshlight
(Image credit: Fleshlight)

Sex toy sales are through the roof, whether it's spicing up couples play or dealing with the massive social barrier that's so rudely stuck itself in the way of many sex lives recently. And it's not just about vibrators, more and more people are investing in one of the best Fleshlights than ever before. But just as your first few fumbles with a partner might be a little awkward, getting used to the best ways to use a Fleshlight isn't, potentially, quite as simple as you may have pictured it in your mind.

So let's break down how to use a Fleshlight so you can get the best from the experience (these tips are applicable to virtually any penetration toy, not just Fleshlights, too). 

Getting ready

A Fleshlight is a soft, textured canal into which you insert a penis - be it yours or someone else's. That's the very basics of it, but whipping it out and slamming it on isn't going to get you very far, both because Fleshlight material tends to be prone to micro-tearing if roughly treated (which can drastically lessen its lifespan) and because that will feel just awful.

Start with a completely clean Fleshlight (check our guide on how to clean a Fleshlight if you want to make sure anything that you've tried before is ready to go again) and a generous amount of water-based lube. If you've tried your Fleshlight before and found it a bit too much, try a thicker lube to lessen the sensitivity a little; conversely, a thinner lube will have you feeling every texture.

We'd not recommend going in cold, so it's a great idea to warm everything up if you're able. This means giving the sleeve a dip into warm (soap-free) water until it's closer to body temperature, and potentially warming up your lube in the same way. Alternatively, Fleshlight sells a specific sleeve warmer - it's not essential, but it might be a more convenient and discrete way to get things ready.

Letting go

Apply the lube generously both to the inside of the sleeve (get as deep as you can with your fingers) and to the penis in question, and you're good to get started. Make sure you're comfortable, unlikely to be interrupted, and have some adult material on hand if you're on your own and your imagination isn't up to it.

There's no right or wrong here, so please don't make the mistake of taking an immediate trip to pound town. Go slow. Twist and turn. Introduce the head of the penis to different areas of texture. You're using a Fleshlight because it's superior to a right hand; don't miss out on all it has to offer. Or, y'know, hammer away like there's no tomorrow if that's more your style.

Don't forget to tweak the level of suction to your liking by adjusting the end cap on the case - that's what it's there for.

When you're done, do make sure you clean your Fleshlight properly.

Changing it up

There are many ways to get more from a Fleshlight. One popular add-on is a shower mount, which attaches to your bathroom tiles with a suction cup and allows you to get your thrust on hands-free; you'll still need plenty of lube, as water on its own isn't usually a very effective way to prevent rubbing, but the water-based lube used in Fleshlights isn't going to cause any problems in the shower.

You might also try mounting that Fleshlight in a different way, if you fancy being creative, but don't break your furniture over it.

There's another option you may not have considered, but which can be absolutely fantastic: ditch the case, and use the sleeve alone. Obviously this can be a bit messier than using a fully assembled Fleshlight, since the open end of the inner will allow fluids to leak out, so make sure you have some towels handy.

The benefits to using the sleeve alone are that you can apply specific pressure with your hand as you go, and there's none of the suction that some poeple find unpleasant. You can stretch the material out, or even flip the inner around and try out the less-used end which would usually sit at the bottom of the case. This is likely going to lower the lifespan of your Fleshlight a little, but it's probably worth a play. Put plenty of Refreshing Powder (or plain cornstarch) on the outside of the sleeve to stop it getting sticky while you play.

Other experiences

Not all Fleshlights are made equal. You can use a Fleshlight as a stamina trainer (and, indeed, there are evenly-textured examples available made specifically for that purpose) or as a way to try things you might not otherwise get to experience - from anatomical reproductions of famous porn stars' genitals to completely artificial entrances.

But Fleshlights are not the only fruit. Tenga makes some truly bonkers toys, like its single-use Eggs which stretch over the glans, and some positively geometric examples. There are vibrating Fleshlight clones out there, too - and there's nothing to stop you jerry-rigging a small vibrator into a standard Fleshlight, either.

Alex Cox
Alex Cox

T3 magazine's own Gadget Guru is a 25-year veteran of the tech writing wars, and has the scars to prove it. He's written for the UK's biggest technology publications, and knows everything from smart doorbell voltage needs to how to bend Windows to his every whim.