Forgive me, as for yet another year I am about to dive into the pit of best Black Friday deals and emerge with one that I'm quite sure isn't on your shopping list.
Yes, I'm going to shun the best Black Friday TV deals, the best Black Friday PS5 deals, and even forgo bagging that super cheap Xbox Series S deal. And instead, I'm going to buy almost a meter of heaven.
That's right, I'm going to buy the gigantic Toblerone!
This is because, once again, the 78cm long, 4.5kg in weight, Toblerone of all Toblerones is discounted in the Black Friday sales, with 26% cut off its price right now.
To put that 4.5KG figure in perspective, a regular Toblerone is 100 grams, so this bar is the equivalent, roughly, of 45 Toblerones combined into one king-sized bar.
Giant 4.5KG Toblerone: was
£73.99, now £54.99 at Amazon
Yes, you did read that product description right, this is 4.5KG of honey, nougat, and chocolate, which if you're anything like me, will then take you about 6 months to gorge your way through. My top tips for actually seeing the back of it? Don't be afraid to cook with it, such as baking it into brownies.
My top tips for getting rid of the evidence
So, yes, I've bought this giant Toblerone before and, let me tell you, you aren't ready for the amount of chocolate, honey and nougat it delivers.
When I first bought it I placed it in my pantry and decided I would just break pieces off it as and when I wanted, but I soon realised that wasn't going to work.
It wouldn't work because, one, this bar is so big and dense that you can't just break a piece off. It's too dense and chunky. In the end I ended up using a carving knife to slice through the gaps in the base, then put a triangle of the Toblerone into a bag, close it, place the bag on my marble kitchen countertop, and then use a hammer to smash the triangle into smaller, more manageable pieces.
And, secondly, it didn't work as there was simply so much Toblerone delivered that even after months I still hadn't even got a third through the bar. I just wasn't making a big enough dent.
So what I suggest to anybody who does go and bag this chocolatey monster, is to use the Toblerone in cooking. Brownies, cakes and cookies are a great use of it, enriching their flavour (and deadliness!), while using smaller pieces in other deserts like ice cream sundaes is also to be advised.
Because you see, this actually is a great deal if you like Toblerone. You get a phenomenal amount of the product for a great price. Just be careful that, if like me you take the plunge, you're prepared for what you're in for.