Got 99 tech problems? Gadget guru is here to help you solve at least one… maybe (January edition)

Each month our tech expert takes your favourite tech troubles, pores over them for – quite frankly – far too long, and aims to provide 'real world' solutions to each and everyone one of them. Obviously, when we say 'real world' what we actually mean is 'offer a half-arsed solution of sorts that you probably shouldn't listen to'.

As well as offering a few pearls of wisdom, Guru likes to dig deep into his magic box to show you what kind of tat, sorry, terrific tech that he's bought this time, and he'll even tell you what you should or shouldn't be watching on your media devices.

If you really, really want Gadget Guru's help then we would probably advise against sending your questions to inbox@t3.com as there are far better qualified people out there. Or do – at the very least it'll brighten your day.

This feature was originally published in T3 magazine.

Q&A

A few options here, so let’s go down the sliding scale depending on just how loud and environmental we’re talking. The ultimate in ear bafflement is probably the professional safety ear muffs from Decibel Defence (£50), which claims they chop out 37dB of pressure. That seems high – most over-ear protection tops out at closer to 30dB – but Guru isn’t about to risk another visit from the council by testing them. If you’re looking for in-ears, Mrs Guru recommends the SnoreCalm Plus Foam Ear Plugs (£5 for seven pairs), which also carry a noise reduction rating of 37dB and mean she only has to sleep two rooms away from GaGu rather than four.

The obvious next step is active noise cancellation, which isn’t quite the same thing and isn’t altogether great at dealing with sudden spikes in volume. Get something with both good passive and active cancelling – the £399 Sony WH-1000XM6 are (obviously) astonishing, and the second-gen Bose QuietComfort Ultra Earbuds (£300) are the most capable buds since Guru made friends with those builders.

Most over-ear protection tops out at closer to 30dB – but Guru isn’t about to risk another visit from the council by testing this

If it’s more a case of reducing sound, you could wear your headphones or buds with the ANC switched off, or pick up something a bit more discreet. Mrs Guru swears by the Loop Switch 2 (£55). They’re adjustable, and functionally cut down the amount of sound that reaches your ears. Guru himself favours the Flare Audio Calmer (£15) which aren’t adjustable, but are basically invisible beyond the little dangly bit that helps you pull them out.

Depends on how old, really. Moderately old stuff – 1980s era or a bit before – can be worth money to the right buyer, as long as it’s semi-desirable and, importantly, you don’t plug it in to see if it works. It probably won’t, and if it does, you’ll likely pop a capacitor and cause it more damage. Sell it as is, with a clear description, on a site like eBay which seems to be getting more favourable for vendors.

As we get more recent, you really have to make a value assessment. In all likelihood, and GaGu says this while giving a knowing glance to the teetering and slightly radioactive pile of silicon and gallium in the corner of his office, it is trash that you’ve been holding on to for too long. The fully discharged lithium batteries will have killed themselves, you’re not actually going to do that screen repair and you know it, so that gear has to make it to the recycler. Facilities vary depending on your local council; Guru is well known by the lads at this local tip. You can also try dropping off at Currys, which recycles e-waste.

If it works and it’s semi-interesting and you’re not so hard up for cash that you need the 20p from CEX, GaGu suggests that it might be best to put that old phone or tablet in the hands of someone who really needs it. A lot of charity shops won’t accept electronic goods (for obvious reasons covered in the previous paragraph) but you might have some luck with the likes of British Heart Foundation. If you’re getting shot of modernish gaming gear, Guru highly suggests you forward it on to getwellgamers. org.uk, which will donate it to its network of partner hospitals for the kids to enjoy. There’s no point hanging on to anything, reader: Marie Kondo your way out of your tech mess.

The absolute best thing is a Kindle (from £95), because of its lovely bedtime-friendly light and the fact that you can fill it with hundreds of soporific books. There’s nothing nicer than reading a paragraph, realising you didn’t take a word of it in, then going out like a light.

Second might be the Sensate (£289), a weird little pebble thing built to help you relax. Lie back, pop it on your sternum, and it flings relaxing bone conducting sound vibrations at your vagus nerve and helps you destress. Despite the company’s marketing guff claiming it combines “science-backed strategies with ancient wisdom”, as if it’s Guru’s mum or something, GaGu’s pretty sure it’ll do the trick.

If that doesn’t suit, perhaps the more unsettling Pulsetto Lite (£236) will do? It’s a proper cyberpunk bit of health kit which goes around your neck, aims electrodes at your throat, and can apparently force your brain into relaxation within four minutes.

What’s going on with the pain in Guru’s left knee? It is a mystery. Time for some basic troubleshooting. Switch it off then on again. Move your router to a more central location in your home. Open the admin interface and have a fiddle – make sure it’s auto-choosing its channel to avoid interfering with other networks.

Try giving it a password change to purge any old devices that might be gumming things up. Throw the whole lot away and get a new Wi-Fi 7 router, or even a mesh setup, because you deserve it. Give up on wireless networking altogether and retire to a small hut in the woods. Go fishing. Breathe. Life’s too short.

’Never scoop again’, says the registered trademark of the Whisker Litter Robot 4 (£749). Essentially a smart concrete mixer in which your cat is supposed to do its business, it filters out any clumpy bits and drops them into a handy drawer below.

It certainly sounds more viable than sending the cats off to live on the moors, though you’re still on the hook for dealing with the foul drawer. And if, like Guru’s felines, your cat is likely to run a mile when their grit bin starts rotating, you may be liable for some even more awful cleanup. A great product – as long as it suits.

Essentially a smart concrete mixer in which your cat is supposed to do its business, it filters out any clumpy bits

If school says they do, they do. The thing that surprises Guru (it really shouldn’t) is just how cheap these things are now. When he was at school in the age of token-ring networks and unchecked bullying, they were pretty much out of reach; now, a decent Casio can be had for £15, and a generic scientific calc could cost you a fiver on Amazon.

Kids that are fond of technical shenanigans should be given a TI-Nspire CX II (about £150) on which they can install games and potentially even a Game Boy emulator for some under-the-table Pokémon during dull maths lessons.

Gadget Guru's Magic Box

GaGu has received many messages about iPhone 17 Pro Max discolouration issues. He hears that the aluminium bits of some of the premium phones have turned from lurid orange to something closer to rose gold, leaving the back of them looking like, to quote one reader, “a cobbled together jumble of parts”. Can Guru help? No! He is no alchemist. If whatever chemical reaction caused the problem has happened to you – and it’s probably something to do with UV, a punishment for those bougie enough to use a £1,200 phone without an opaque case and then leave it in the sun – that’s a question for Tim Cook.

Apparently Guru is an influencer again, because the lovely people at DJI sent him the Mic 3 for a little GaGu judgment. The presentation’s spot on; this has almost been built to be unboxed, the guts – a pair of wireless mics, a receiver unit which can record 32GB of audio onboard – are definitely pro-standard. It’s robust, premium, and Guru can’t argue with the quality of the audio or the strength of the signal either. Yes, the clothing-clipping magnets are perhaps a few Gauss too weak, and Guru would like to be able to plug in a less obtrusive wired lavalier, but let’s not pick holes – at the price (£259 for a two-mic setup) these are a bargain considering they’re basically a two-person podcast studio as well as a way to make video amazing. Top marks.

Guru is also available for short-form mattress reviews, if any relevant PRs are reading: he has absolutely battered his most recent sprung king size. Not like that, you understand. But Guru’s heavy-reared method of entry and exit has smashed the springs in one particular spot, leading to him sleeping in a pronounced divot. He has learned his lesson about memory foam only mattresses in the past, as long-time readers will know – better make it something good.

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