Whenever Apple or Samsung or any of the other tech mega-brands has a new launch coming up they send out invites with clues to what's coming cunningly secreted in the imagery used or the words on the invite. The fun is in trying to figure out what they are, and what it all means. Well, now we can play the same fun game with Dyson.
The vacuum cleaner, air moving/cleaning and high-end grooming brand from Malmesbury is holding some briefings next week and has sent out the following, slightly alarming, highly intriguing invite. Malmesbury is a very fun word to say, by the way. Mmmmalmesbury.
What can it mean?
So we have a kind crash test dummy, but for breathing. It's got a 'nose' and 'mouth' and it doesn't look any too happy. Although, to be fair, test dummies of any kind seldom look any too jocular. It's also got a hole in its throat, but let's ignore that bit, and assume it's just a necessary part of designing a piece of testing apparatus of this type.
The none-too-subtle headline is 'There's something new in the air'. Could this mean that Dyson's next product will put something new 'in the air'? Well, quite possibly. But usually these tag lines aren't meant to be taken 100% literally. So it might just mean there's something new coming, and it relates to air.
The most exciting possibility is that this is Dyson's highly anticipated wearable, personal air purifier. What's that? You haven't been anticipating this and in fact you've never even heard of it? Then you haven't been paying proper attention. Dyson filed a patent for a device that resembled headphones and filtered the air in your personal space back in 2020. We called it Dyson CleanAirPods, although we rather doubt Dyson would call it that in reality.
Will Dyson be releasing air-purifying headphones? Erm… maybe not
Of course, big brands file patents for concepts all the time, with no intention of ever actually making them. I'd be very surprised if this was what it had planned for early March – but what a pleasant surprise it would be! But given that the breath test dummy above is not wearing funky headphones – although it does appear to have tubes coming out of the back of its head, Matrix-style – it's more likely to be a non-wearable device.
A close look at the background of the image shows a vapour-like haze. Now this might just be a stylish design flourish but it could also represent an actual, vapour-like haze. A haze of the type, perhaps, one gets from a humidifier. The only issue there is that Dyson already makes a humidifier in the form of the Pure Humidify+Cool. So that wouldn't be totally 'new' as such. But it could have some additional feature, such as putting an aroma or essential oils or somesuch into your air. I should probably point out that Dyson's humidifiers don't put visible vapour into the air, so maybe it's not that. You do get products that project steam onto your visage for beauty and health purposes, though…
There are two popular types of air-wrangling device that Dyson doesn't currently make: a portable air conditioner and a dehumidifier. These change the temperature of the air and remove humidity from it respectively, so neither option puts something new 'in' the air as such.
Finally, although the aforementioned Pure Humidify+Cool humidifies, purifies and cools – obviously – Dyson has never yet made a fan that humidifies, purifies, cools and heats. So it might be that, although launching a heater in early spring wouldn't be the most perfect timing.
In summary, I can't tell you exactly what Dyson has up its sleeve, but I am looking forward to finding out – and perhaps breathing in a more luxurious and pleasing manner as a result of it. We'll know everything about it by early March and I will of course let you know in a big gust of NEWS.
