Do you agree?
Come on, even if you own an Apple product, you know it deep down. You know that despite the hype, slickness in marketing and lifestyle-enhancing Kool-Aid, you could have bought something better.
It's not powered by the best hardware on the market, it doesn't come with best software installed and, worse of all, it has a built-in shelf life of just a few years, after which it will be about as useful as a chocolate teapot on the surface of the Sun.
Check out this list of burns and let us know what you think.
Don't agree with this article? You probably want to check out a piece by another of our writers: why there are plenty of reasons to buy Apple kit.
iOS can be unintuitive
Apple may have nailed down the formula for creating aesthetically pleasing products, but the software running inside said devices still leaves a lot to be desired.
A lack of customisation, no custom ROMs or widgets and no true integration with Google services being just some of its cons. And since it's a proprietary piece of software, every single Apple phone or tablet has the same OS (which can be a benefit, of course). With Android, there are so many options on the market.
A lack of choice
One of the biggest strengths of Apple's market positioning is keeping a limited palette of products. It's profitable, it's targeted and it's savvy. You know what else it is? A lack of choice.
Sure, there's nothing stopping you in picking up an older version of the iPhone or the iPad, but while you're deciding whether to buy a vanilla iPhone 6, a dearer iPhone 6 Plus or a iPhone SE you'll likely look over to the Android side of the room and see all those different devices in all shapes and forms. Increasing the size of a screen or stripping out features does not a vast selection make, Apple.
The ‘if it ain’t broke why fix it?’ mentality
When Android first launched, it was a laughable, bug-ridden mess that seemed a poor alternative to the far smoother realm of iOS. But over the years, Google has helped massage the platform into a genuinely intuitive and malleable operating system (although it depends on the device!) that can be tailored to suit any device, processor and package.
That's not to say iOS has never changed, small tweaks here and there (like split screen apps) have kept it functional, but it is in need of a proper overhaul.
Macs take forever to get the best games
If you happen to be a Mac user, you'll know it's the machine of choice when it comes to design-based tasks, but should you want to play the latest titles to hit the gaming stratusphere you'll soon find yourself nurturing a case of the disappointments.
The presence of Steam has certainly improved this issue by opening the door for more titles tweaked for Mac use, but when it comes to the bigger titles the wait can often be indefinite. PC ports already take a month or more to arrive after consoles release dates, while Mac users can be waiting years for a version to pass their way.
You have to have an iPhone to have an Apple Watch
While it's not immediately obvious (since so many smartwatches work independently), but the only way you can use an Apple Watch is to have your very own iPhone to pair it with.
For those who've already pledged their immortal souls to the Cupertino gods this is no big thing, but to those of us with Android or (dare we say it) Windows Phone devices, the temptation to add some Apple chic to our wrists means converting on more than one front. It's one more example of Apple's products feeling less and less inclusive to non-iOS users, though with all apps now expected to run natively, maybe change is coming on this one.
iTunes is a hot mess
When iTunes first wandered onto the scene, accompanied by the hipster-attracting iPod, it seemed like perfect accompaniment. Yet, even with every Tom, Dick and Harry adding their podcasts to Apple's growing spoken word catalogue and many an LP exclusive, there was still something holding it back: it didn't really work.
iTunes is a chore to use, never feels smooth and presents your music in the most unintuitive way possible. And in a day and age where streaming services make music downloads feel oddly archaic, iTunes is fast becoming a relic in its own right.
You’ll potentially have to go into an Apple Store
Now we're not digging at the people who work in Apple's retail outlets, but rather the style of customer service the firm expects its employees to exude from every pore like some sub-tropical affliction.
That sickly sweet chumminess, the fact they call their staff Geniuses (maybe they are, but still), the fact there's a bloody area called the Genius Bar, so many things about that floor space scream awkward and try hard.
You’ll have to sell a kidney to buy one
Perhaps the oldest gripe of all when it comes to Apple products, but an important one nonetheless if you're on my wages. Apple don't make bad products, and no one can seriously question the quality of their output, but even for something as dated as the iPod Touch you're still looking at forking out some serious dollar.
Even older models of current devices, such as the original iPad Air or the iPhone 5S will force you to sell an organ or one of your children just to afford the monthly payments. Apple's products are premium, but they're not that premium.