6 embarrassing male body problems and how to fix them

published 31 May 2018

Never has there been a harsher disappointment in expectation versus reality, as when puberty hits and all isn’t as easy as it seems. You come to realise David Beckham has set the bar high for men and, frankly, he is the exception to the rule.

Rather, adulthood brings with it a multitude of change from hormonal imbalances to genetic curses and you’ll realise that never before have you been so conscious of your hairline.

Never has there been a greater expectation in appearance than nowadays.

The truth is, we all have issues. Including us, in fact, our next issue is out in a couple of weeks (boom boom).

Thank God for the internet, allowing us to self-diagnose our embarrassing body issues without judgement, and thank God for us at T3 (we're ever so humble) doing our research and finding the best over-the-counter products and expert opinions to alleviate them.

1. Halitosis

According to Dentyl BB Mints "bad breath" research, 46% of Brits wouldn’t go on a date with someone who had bad breath. If you’re not doing a quick scent test before coming into close proximity of someone you fancy then you may well be killing your chances before you can get things off the ground.

Bad breath screams poor dental hygiene and incessantly chewing on gum won’t save you. Your diet plays a key role in preventing halitosis. Pungent foods can curdle your breath faster than sour milk whilst you’re none the wiser.

Get yourself booked in to see the hygienist and get your hands on some of these:

Cool Mint Listerine (1 litre) - £3.00

Listerine’s antiseptic mouthwash fights plaque, gum disease and halitosis in one. So if you’re a smoker, boozer or coffee drinker, or you’ve just been at the garlic, get gargling this – as no doubt you’re housing a stink in your mouth.

Take a look at our list of best electric toothbrushes for the ultimate in dental care.

2. Dandruff

Unless it is snowing outside, shoulder pads dusted with dead skin are going to draw attention for all the wrong reasons, if someone does point it out, you slap them right down and tell them it’s not caused by poor hygiene, because really, it’s not.

According to Dr Andrew Thornber, Chief Medical Officer at Now Patient, dandruff can be triggered by a number of factors, from temperamental weather conditions to stress, and can often be worse in those who suffer from eczema or psoriasis.

Scratching leads to inflammation and, you guessed it, inflammation leads to shedding.

Anti-dandruff shampoos are a saving grace for itchy scalps, tea tree is a vital ingredient to fight dandruff alongside coconut oil, ‘they contain vitamins and natural anti-fungal and antibacterial properties’ says Dr Andrew Thornber, Chief Medical Officer at Now Patient.

Something for everyday maintenance:

Head & Shoulders Men Ultra Deep Cleansing Anti-Dandruff Shampoo (pack of six) - £29.94

Head & Shoulders are renowned for their powers of descaling scalps and their Men Ultra is no different. Formulated to cleanse and condition, Men Ultra is designed to give your scalp a deep clean whilst nourishing your dry scalp. It’s a suitable option for everyday use.

Something more potent:

Nutrogena t/GEL - £6.99

For the more extreme cases of dandruff, or scalp psoriasis, T/Gel is a godsend. Medicated to soothe itchy, inflamed and flaky scalps, use it two to three times a week for best results.

3. Jock itch

Got an itchy rash around your nether regions? Starting to think it’s getting worse? It’s most likely jock itch, a fungal infection that lives on the skin.

If you’re prone to hanging around in your sweaty gym clothes after exercising, you’re inviting the infection in with open arms.

To prevent it, be sure to shower immediately after exercising and dry thoroughly. If you’ve already got it, the best course of action is to treat it as soon as you can to stop it spreading or getting worse.

Prevention:

Molton Brown Peppercorn Bodywash - £20

Give yourself a good and thorough clean post gym with Molton Brown’s refreshing body wash. It’s pleasantly refreshing and will cut through sweat instantly to help keep jock itch away.

Solution:

Canesten Hydrocortisone Cream - £6.20

Commonly used for athlete’s foot, this cream is anti-fungal and anti-bacterial to help combat the irritation and inflammation from you fungus-ridden groin. It works pretty quickly but if it does persist, escalate the issue to your doctor.

4. Erectile Dysfunction

This is a hard one (sorry). The great news is you can buy Viagra over the counter now!

According to Dr Andrew Thornber, ED is often linked to tiredness, excessive drinking and stress, though it can also be due to an un-diagnosed medical problem. Suffering from ED can be a real mood and confidence knocker and the more you worry, the worse it gets.

“Many men make the mistake of trying too hard to get an erection, particularly when they feel stressed or anxious, which can make the situation worse.” Says Dr Thornber, “It can be helped or prevented by losing weight [if overweight], drinking less, stopping smoking and reducing stress.”

If that sounds like too much work:

Viagra Connect (8 tablets) - £34.99

Sexual stimulation in tablet form, Viagra connect gets to work in 30-60 minutes. This is a medicine - so be sure to read the precautions prior to taking.

5. Eczema

As if an unsightly, angry rash wasn’t bad enough, the insatiable itch that accompanies it adds insult to injury when it comes to eczema or dermatitis. Red, swollen and inflamed skin isn’t easy on the eye and can be a real confidence killer.

Depending on the severity of your eczema, there are a few over-the-counter products that can help nip it in the bud, but for more serious cases you should consult your doctor.

For something to scratch that itch try:

Bioderma Atoderm SOS Spray - £13.93

Bioderma’s SOS spray will satisfy that itch in 60 seconds and promises six hours of relief. Spray on and enjoy!

For something to soothe:

SVR Topialyse Baume Intensif - £16.54

SVF offer a huge range of topical remedies for eczema but this repair treatment does wonders to soothe dryness and itching by giving skin an intense boost of hydration. Formulated without fragrances, parabens or silicones it’s gentle and kind to irritated skin.

6. Hair loss

The one genetic malfunction we can all only hope we’re not cursed with. Spurred on by stress, a poor diet and environmental elements, it’s tough to predict the individual outcomes of male pattern baldness. It’s hard to imagine life without a head of hair and you may never be ready.

A toupee is out of the question, but we’ve got some products to help in the early stages:

Toppik Hair Building Fibres - £19.95

Toppik’s hair building fibres are exactly that, tiny little fibres that give you a fuller mane during your thinning stages. Made of a natural keratin that’s almost identical to natural hair so they go undetected - plus they stick to your hair so you won’t be showering hair fibres.

Kick-start your morning with this six-step grooming routine