Monster iSport Wireless Superslim are superslim, wireless earphones. For sport

Actually the slimmest wireless earphones in the world

Look at this idiot. He's not paying attention to traffic because he has earphones in. His bike position suggests he's turning left, yet there's NO hand signal, and his glasses are both on his helmet and upside down. Pfftht.

However, none of this matters since there is no traffic, and he's also wearing the world's slimmest wireless earphones. Though clearly that's in terms of the bit that protrudes from your ear rather than the cable, which is seemingly as thick as a small man's little finger, and hi-viz yellow to boot.

The low profile is thanks to an ultra-compact battery and circuitry that's "folded" into the space, so they sit nearly flush to your canals and, thusly, you can wear a helmet over them, for instance. They also maintain Monster's usual excellence in this field, with splendid sound - there's both aptX and AAC support for better audio across Android and Apple devices -good in-ear purchase so they don't fall out as you "pull a 360" or climb up a big rock, like so:

Ultra-lightweight, with a "patented ear hook" and angled ear tip for a secure and comfortable fit, they're also water-resistant, sweat-proof, antimicrobial and washable. A built-in mic and buttons mean it can work with your phone and control your music, too. Oh and that ultra-compact battery nonetheless lasts for "over five hours" per charge.

The cost of this rugged yellow slimness and audio splendour? £129.95 to you, mate.

If you're not so fussed about aural slimness - perhaps you are poor, or have absolutely freakishly huge ears - there's also the Monster iSport Wireless at £79.95.

Or if you're in the market for a pair of sporty on-ears in "Business Black" (or "black", as we call it), there's this, the iSport Freedom. Monster says they're "for active people who prefer the feel and performance of on-ear headphones to in-ear models." We'd say they're more for people who have fallen on their head while mountain biking a few too many times, and lost all aesthetic judgement, but maybe that's just us. £229.95.

Duncan Bell

Duncan is the former lifestyle editor of T3 and has been writing about tech for almost 15 years. He has covered everything from smartphones to headphones, TV to AC and air fryers to the movies of James Bond and obscure anime. His current brief is everything to do with the home and kitchen, which is good because he is an excellent cook, if he says so himself. He also covers cycling and ebikes – like over-using italics, this is another passion of his. In his long and varied lifestyle-tech career he is one of the few people to have been a fitness editor despite being unfit and a cars editor for not one but two websites, despite being unable to drive. He also has about 400 vacuum cleaners, and is possibly the UK's leading expert on cordless vacuum cleaners, despite being decidedly messy. A cricket fan for over 30 years, he also recently become T3's cricket editor, writing about how to stream obscure T20 tournaments, and turning out some typically no-nonsense opinions on the world's top teams and players.

Before T3, Duncan was a music and film reviewer, worked for a magazine about gambling that employed a surprisingly large number of convicted criminals, and then a magazine called Bizarre that was essentially like a cross between Reddit and DeviantArt, before the invention of the internet. There was also a lengthy period where he essentially wrote all of T3 magazine every month for about 3 years. 

A broadcaster, raconteur and public speaker, Duncan used to be on telly loads, but an unfortunate incident put a stop to that, so he now largely contents himself with telling people, "I used to be on the TV, you know."