VIDEO: WE DROVE THE BATMOBILE

Yes, that Batmobile. It was noisy as hell and kind of slow, but still… THE BATMOBILE!

So we drove the Batmobile from Batman vs Superman. And also Bruce Wayne's car. How come? Because Jeep made Bruce Wayne's car, and they were also involved with making the Batmobile and that's how movie promotion works!

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So here it is.

The thing to bear in mind about the Batmobile, and apologies if this seems patronising, is that it's not a real car. Well, it sort of is, but it's more of a prop than a vehicle… Although it can be driven and it is awesome.

For instance, the in-car infotainment system is a blank, plastic screen. Furthermore, all the numerous switches don't do anything. Even the front machine guns don't work, so in that respect it's less powerful than the average souped-up Vauxhall Corsa around our 'hood'.

The Batmobile weighs about 3.5 tonnes, pulls about 500 BHP and has what car experts would call 'f**king massive wheels'.

The main thing that results from that is that it is horribly noisy - rather like the sound of sheet steel being torn in two - acceleration is sluggish, and deceleration is quite perilous for anyone trying to film it coming to a halt from dead in front, as this photographer found out. Not in a fatal way, happily.

We did a lap of the airfield track at Bicester Vintage - a ridiculously bucolic location, about as far from Gotham City as one can get, although we have heard that things can get pretty rough when its sales time at the nearby Bicester Shopping Outlet Fun Retail Buy Stuff You Don't Need Village. We believe that's its full name.

Driving straight was absolutely fine. We had no problems with that, apart from the way the rending metal sound from the transmission rapidly crescendoed from merely noisy and unpleasant to a deafening industrial whine. Taking even a rather leisurely corner was quite hairy, not least because there are no seatbelts and nothing much holding the doors closed. Top speed achieved: maybe 35mph? We could have probably caught the Penguin, if he was on foot, and featured in Batman vs Superman (but he doesn't). It felt a lot faster, not least when the brakes were applied, revealing a stopping distance of approximately a Gotham City block and a half.

Was it a cool experience? Of course it was; it's the Batmobile. Was it an enjoyable one? Mmm, yes, guess so. Could you go to Tesco in it? No: it's about half an inch off the ground at the front, so the speed humps would be just too awful. Also there's no boot. And no rear-view mirrors. Although there are indicators, so at least you wouldn't have to suffer the ignominy of doing hand signals (as opposed to Bat signals) in the Batmobile.

What was both a cool AND enjoyable experience was driving Bruce Wayne's Jeep Renegade (or at least the limited edition Jeep Renegade that's coming out to commemorate the universally-loved-by-critics Batman vs Superman movie).

T3's Spencer Hart drove it expertly around an obstacle course involving running it on two wheels along logs, driving through a recreation of the Batcave and going up a massive see-saw thing, while I caught up with some emails in the back. There'll be a proper review along shortly.

The good news is that if you go to this website, you may get the chance to come and drive the Jeep Renegade and see the Batmobile for yourself this weekend, in Bicester.

The bad news is that you won't be able to drive the Batmobile because only we can do that. Only us and Batman are sufficiently cool. Sorry.

Duncan has been writing about tech for almost 15 years, during which time he has attended every event going, apart from Apple ones, as he mysteriously doesn't get invited to them. He has covered everything from smartphones to headphones, TV to AC and air fryers to the movies of James Bond and obscure anime. 

Duncan's current brief is everything to do with the home and kitchen, which is good because he is an excellent cook, if he says so himself. He also covers cycling and ebikes – like over-using italics, this is another passion of his. Duncan also edits T3's golf section because fuck it, someone has to. Dave Usher does all the real work on that bit, though. In his long and varied lifestyle-tech career he is one of the few people to have been a fitness editor despite being unfit and a cars editor for not one but two websites, despite being unable to drive. He also has about 400 vacuum cleaners, and is possibly the UK's leading expert on cordless vacuum cleaners, despite being decidedly messy.

Before T3, Duncan was a music and film reviewer, worked for a magazine about gambling that employed a surprisingly large number of convicted criminals, and then a magazine called Bizarre that was essentially Reddit before the invention of Reddit. There was a lengthy period where he essentially wrote all of T3 magazine every month for about 3 years. 

A broadcaster, raconteur and public speaker, Duncan used to be on telly loads, but an unfortunate incident put a stop to that, so he now largely contents himself with telling people, "I used to be on the TV, you know."