The Savior will save ya. At last, a laptop bag that's entirely bulletproof, stab-proof and punch resistant!

Simply unfold the MTS Multi Threat Shield briefcase and use it as ballistic protection, whilst looking stylish and debonaire at the same time

Sure, your laptop bag may be chic, tough and provide protection for your laptop against scrapes and bumps (opens in new tab)

But can it fold out into a 1-metre tall ballistic shield, providing instant invulnerability against assaults from "most handgun, shotgun and pistol caliber sub-machine gun threats"? 

Thought not. 

The MTS Multi-Threat Shield, informally known as The Savior, is what the well-dressed man is using to protect himself against sub-machine gun fire this winter.

It is, says manufacturer, Force Training Institute, "Light enough to be held by a child, but strong enough to stop a .44 Magnum traveling 1412 feet per second." That's a powerful mental image.

But, you're probably thinking, what about if someone rushes you with a bladed weapon, baseball bat with nails coming out of it, or a very big hammer? 

Don't worry: the ballistic nylon weave and Aramid fibres of The Savior will save ya, from attacks with "blunt objects and edged weapons, as well as punches and kicks."

Unfolding in seconds with a flick of the wrist – although this presumably scatters your laptop, pens and laser sights all over the place, as an unfortunate side-effect – The Savior Multi-Threat Shield can also be proofed against high-powered rifles via the addition of a ceramic plate (sold separately).

Now savour this dynamite footage of men in Oakley sunglasses shooting a fabric oblong at extremely close range.

Duncan has been writing about tech for almost 15 years, during which time he has attended every event going, apart from Apple ones, as he mysteriously doesn't get invited to them. He has covered everything from smartphones to headphones, TV to AC and air fryers to the movies of James Bond and obscure anime. 

Duncan's current brief is everything to do with the home and kitchen, which is good because he is an excellent cook, if he says so himself. He also covers cycling and ebikes – like over-using italics, this is another passion of his. Duncan also edits T3's golf section because fuck it, someone has to. Dave Usher does all the real work on that bit, though. In his long and varied lifestyle-tech career he is one of the few people to have been a fitness editor despite being unfit and a cars editor for not one but two websites, despite being unable to drive. He also has about 400 vacuum cleaners, and is possibly the UK's leading expert on cordless vacuum cleaners, despite being decidedly messy. A cricket fan for over 30 years, he also recently become T3's cricket editor, writing about how to stream obscure T20 tournaments, and turning out some typically no-nonsense opinions on the world's top teams and players.

Before T3, Duncan was a music and film reviewer, worked for a magazine about gambling that employed a surprisingly large number of convicted criminals, and then a magazine called Bizarre that was essentially like a cross between Reddit and DeviantArt, before the invention of the internet. There was also a lengthy period where he essentially wrote all of T3 magazine every month for about 3 years. 

A broadcaster, raconteur and public speaker, Duncan used to be on telly loads, but an unfortunate incident put a stop to that, so he now largely contents himself with telling people, "I used to be on the TV, you know."