The Savior will save ya. At last, a laptop bag that's entirely bulletproof, stab-proof and punch resistant!

Simply unfold the MTS Multi Threat Shield briefcase and use it as ballistic protection, whilst looking stylish and debonaire at the same time

Sure, your laptop bag may be chic, tough and provide protection for your laptop against scrapes and bumps

But can it fold out into a 1-metre tall ballistic shield, providing instant invulnerability against assaults from "most handgun, shotgun and pistol caliber sub-machine gun threats"? 

Thought not. 

The MTS Multi-Threat Shield, informally known as The Savior, is what the well-dressed man is using to protect himself against sub-machine gun fire this winter.

It is, says manufacturer, Force Training Institute, "Light enough to be held by a child, but strong enough to stop a .44 Magnum traveling 1412 feet per second." That's a powerful mental image.

But, you're probably thinking, what about if someone rushes you with a bladed weapon, baseball bat with nails coming out of it, or a very big hammer? 

Don't worry: the ballistic nylon weave and Aramid fibres of The Savior will save ya, from attacks with "blunt objects and edged weapons, as well as punches and kicks."

Unfolding in seconds with a flick of the wrist – although this presumably scatters your laptop, pens and laser sights all over the place, as an unfortunate side-effect – The Savior Multi-Threat Shield can also be proofed against high-powered rifles via the addition of a ceramic plate (sold separately).

Now savour this dynamite footage of men in Oakley sunglasses shooting a fabric oblong at extremely close range.

Duncan has been writing about tech for almost 15 years and fitness ever since he became middle aged and realised he could no longer rely solely on his boyish good looks. He used to be on telly loads, but an unfortunate incident put a stop to that, so he now largely contents himself with telling people, "I used to be on the TV, you know."
Pre-lockdown Duncan was widely regarded as the best-dressed man ever to work for T3 – admittedly not saying much. Post-lockdown he is looking forward to wearing clothes other than shorts and hoodies again very soon, assuming he can still fit into them. He currently writes about cycling, fitness tech that isn’t too heavy, and all things kitchen and home related.