Death Match: Vertu Signature VS Tag Meridiist review

Sir, I demand satisfaction!

A mobile phone speaks volumes about a gentleman's quality and, with that in mind, we ask: what does yours say about you?

If you happen to have either a Vertu Signature or a Tag Meridiist lurking in your finely-stitched, bespoke-tailored pockets, it says that you're doing rather well for yourself. Either that or you've just mugged a dentist.

The Vertu Signature is a bejewelled beauty from Nokia's luxury arm, crafted from precious white gold and tastefully scattered with rubies. The Merridiist, meanwhile, is the debut phone from master watchmakers Tag Heuer. It's been five years in development, and they appear to have been five years well spent.

Assembled by hand, and lovingly honed by their respective manufacturers, these stylish mobiles are all about outer beauty.

Features

Vertu Signature £21,000

With Bluetooth 2.0, push email, 3G and Wi-Fi, this quad-band phone is very well equipped. There's a generous four gigs of storage, but no camera.

Tag Meridiist £2,650

Hardly crammed with features, the Meridiist contains A2DP Bluetooth, a respectable 2GB of memory and a not-so-respectable, two-meg camera.

Winner: Vertu Signature

Looks

Vertu Signature

From the illuminated, ruby-studded keyboard, to the understated elegance of the hidden "on" button, the Signature oozes overstated glamour.

Tag Meridiist

Next to the bling-encrusted Vertu, the Meridiist is more understated, but no less stylish. Personalise it with plush alligator-skin or leather covers.

Winner: Draw

Ease of use

Vertu Signature

Key switches on the patented keyboard make typing a breeze and the crystal display is sharp. You'll also feel right at home with the Nokia interface.

Tag Meridiist

Menus lack the design flare of the Vertu, and it can be fiddly to navigate, but it's only a minor annoyance. The solid keyboard is a typist's dream.

Winner: Vertu Signature

Materials

Vertu Signature

Attired in white gold and black ceramic, the Vertu is the only electronic product with a Swiss Assay Office hallmark, normally reserved for jewellery.

Tag Meridiist

With a corrosion-resistant steel body and 60.5 carat sapphire glass screens, the Tag feels reassuringly expensive. Granted it's not white gold, but we like it.

Winner: Draw

Extras

Vertu Signature

Ring tones composed by Dario Marianelli and recorded by the LSO, and a concierge service that can get you a lobster at two in the morning. Now that's classy.

Tag Meridiist

An extra screen in the top of the phone displays the time and caller info. While the special Tag Heuer switch sends out polite call reject messages.

Winner: Vertu Signature

Cost

Vertu Signature

At £21,000, the Signature costs the same as a car. At £7,400 the stainless steel version is still more than most people will spend on phones in a lifetime.

Tag Meridiist

The £2,650 price is piffling compared to the Vertu -that's not going to impress anyone. Perhaps spank a bit more green by smothering it in diamonds.

Winner: Vertu Signature

Who's the king of bling?

The Meridiist effortlessly exudes style and quality, but doesn't require a billionaire's cheque book. Where's the fun in penny-pinching, though? The Meridiist lacks that Vertu drool factor. The Vertu has more refinement than most of the royal family, but it's hard not to enjoy a phone that costs the GNP of Gambia and weighs the same as a gun. Russian oligarchs will love it.

Winner: Vertu Signature

Related links:

• Weekend Spend: Luxury mobile phones
• T3 Top Ten Luxury laptops
• Video: Tag Heuer first mobile phone