Weird News: Virgin joins the A-Team, missing iPhones

Plus: Doom gets a second chance at life in Deutschland

A look at the more eccentric side of tech's last seven days...

Doom now not quite so Doomed
After 17 long years, Germany has finally lifted a sales ban on Doom that’s seen it confined to the sweaty shame of shelves in adult-only stores. The government body responsible has decided that the archaic spritesplash of a graphics engine no longer poses much of a threat to society, given that you can get more convincing looking hellspawn on an HTC Wildfire.

An iPhone 5 walks into a bar…
Stop, stop… We’ve heard this one before. Apple’s filed a report with the Busies in San Fran after one of their devices has gone walkabouts from a local pub. Just like last year. We’re not sure if the missing handset is the iPhone 5; if it is then someone at Apple’s probably spending this afternoon sharpening their CV.

Virgin goes retro

Ordered Virgin Media with TiVo? Don’t be surprised if Mr T rocks up in the A-Team van to install it for you. Or Daisy Duke. File this one squarely under ‘publicity stunt’, but Virgin’s embracing the retro and kitted out its vans and engineers with the look of the shows of yore. You know… just ‘cos.

Steve Jobs says tablets will fail

…Well, he did in 2003, anyway. Back then, Apple’s only dealing with the devices was the ill-fated Newton. In the uncovered interview, Jobs reasoned that people need a keyboard on their devices if email’s going to be a viable option. Without that, tablets would sink. Right you are, Steve. You know best. Tablets are rubbis- …oh, no, you’ve changed you mind? What? iPad? Oh. Ok. …Let’s just forget it.

BitTorrent TV
A downloader’s dream, this. Whereas most Smart TVs will think themselves clever merely for showing you Youtube videos and a Twitter feed, this goes above and beyond. The Vestel TV announced at IFA rams in the new BitTorrent certified ecosystem, which means you’ll be able to search, view and download everything in the file-sharers vaults. Exactly what you do with it is a matter for the courts.

Deus Ex kills Zumba
After a record-breaking 18 years at the number one slot, Zumba fitness has finally tumbled down the gaming charts. It’s been replaced by the rather awesome Deus Ex: Human Revolution, but whether this is due to Deus Ex’s quality - or just the fact that most of the UK is now as Zumba fit as the human body will physically allow - remains to be seen.

Touchscreen TV
LG’s gone and launched a telly that you can draw on, with a bundled stylus. We’d be keen to hear your proposed uses for this. So far all we can think of is pausing a football match to pretend you’re Andy Gray, or drawing moustaches on the X Factor judging panel. Might be embarrassing when yunguns in the house get used to this tech and start scribbling all over friends’ lesser TVs with a marker pen.

And finally…

This guy doesn’t like Lion very much
Any Mac users out there not happy with the experience offered by Mac OS X Lion? Even if you’re not completely satisfied, you’re probably still in better spirits than this chap.