Weird News: The super mouse and the Hammer search

Plus: Sesame Street porn and Pioneer starts a fight

It’s Friday yet again, which means it’s time to take a quick look over the more eccentric side of tech’s last seven days. The front pages may have been filled with smartphones and tablets, but here's what you might have missed...

Sesame Street: After dark
Young’uns who ventured to the Sesame Street Youtube page may have been met with a bit of a surprise earlier this week, as Kermit’s latest enthralling adventure with the alphabet was hacked into and replaced by the endearing porn classic ‘First Anal Quest: Angelica’. Educational, albeit in a completely different way.

Stop; Hammer search!
Of all people on this big spinny space rock, we would never, ever, ever, have predicted that MC Hammer would be next to join the internet search engine business. His search engine ‘WireDoo’ will apparently look for related searches better and be than Google. We’d like to say ‘stranger things have happened’, but that’d be a lie. Nothing stranger than this has ever happened. Ever.

Arrested development
Occupying Wall Street? Sure you are; you’re all liberal and stuff. If your peaceful protesting ends up a bit less peaceful than you’d like, a new Android app will let you instantly fire off a message to your loved ones and lawyer to say that you’re being chucked into the back of the nearest police van. We blame capitalism. Wanna know how to fix it? Click on one of the ads dotted around this page. That’ll fix it. Promise.

Google’s co-founder: Unsociable
“I am not a very social person myself. I haven’t spent much time on social networks myself…including Facebook or Twitter. I just haven’t been very active on any of them,” says Google co-founder Sergey Brinn. Interesting sentiments coming from the man who now has to front Facebook rival Google+. That’s like Tim Cook saying he doesn’t really ‘get’ iOS.

Bloody big mouse
Repetitive strain injury? Yeah mate, you’re using the wrong mouse. This is what you want: a bloody massive super mouse the size of a human head. That’ll sort it out. In all seriousness, we have no idea why this 175mm long by 105mm width by 55mm tall mouse exists, but we kind of want one. Because it’s all glowy.

Ballmer’s not a computer scientist
Emphatic, perma-sweaty Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer has been out saying things to other human beings again this week. This time he took the opportunity to lay into Android, branding it as an OS for ‘computer scientists’. Surely the CEO of the world’s biggest software company being flummoxed by Ice Cream Sandwich doesn’t bode well for the rest of us?

Pioneer encourages battles
Pioneer’s STEEZ may resemble something you’d use to carry weapon’s grade plutonium in, but it’s actually a speaker designed to initiate ad hoc dance battles. “Auto battle mode” lets you programme songs with countdowns, so you know when it’s your turn to bust a devastating flurry of ‘sick’ moves. Right; we’re off down to Millenium Bridge with it to challenge the oncoming city set.

And finally…

Saints Row III hits back
Anyone else tired of stoic, overblown, hyperbole-laden game trailers with hip hop soundtracks, reassuring your bleeding eyes that what you’re seeing is, in fact, in-game footage? Us too, thankfully, there’s this…