We take a look at the more eccentric side of tech's last seven days...
Kinect for the blind
Those crazy Kinect hackers have clearly gotten bored of bashing it until it does porn-related things and done something pretty useful. If it will finally silence all those scaremongering types who believe that so much as looking at a computer game will transform you into a brainless murder machine, then T3 will do all it can to help.
Steve Jobs riles Bon Jovi
Finger pointing’s pretty easy. Lift up a hand and fold in all your digits bar the index. There you go! You’re doing it! Way to go, champ, etc, etc. Thing is… no matter how hard you point that finger, it still won’t bring back your long lost fame and fan adoration. Sorry, Jovi: you’ll have to just go back to hazily piecing the 80s together in your head, just like the rest of us.
The Royal fridge
Looking forward to the Royal Wedding bank holiday bonanza? So are we. We’re looking forward to it so much we’ve gone and bought a royal wedding fridge - so we can spend the next ten years or so prizing the future king’s face apart and stuffing it with piccalilli. And maybe some brie.
Get beaten to smithereens on CoD
Having a good day? Sounds like you need taking down a peg or two. We prescribe getting online to play Call of Duty against the people who painstakingly built every level, pixel by pixel. Money can’t buy the kind of humiliation and frustration you get from being repeatedly shot in the face by 8 uber gamers at once.
The computer virus turns 40
The internet still seems like it’s in its infancy, but this week marked the 40th anniversary of the first time some malicious, fidgety prick bundled together a computer bug in his mum’s garage. Human nature, apparently, will ensure that wherever there’s a miraculous wonder-service, there will always be people trying to smash it to bits. Presumably, Norton Security doesn’t mind all that much.
Smartphone owners spend longer in the littlest room
Hardly the surprise of the century, is it? Turns out that the second we all got access to every single bit of information on the planet from the little magic box in our pockets, squeezing out back-passage travellers dropped down a priority. You can never get that time back, you know. Click the link for the specific numbers, or don’t and we’ll all just get on with our lives.
It’s got Star Wars in it, so you’ll probably like it: