The British public can't get enough connected sex toys, it says here

Hot Octopuss 'guybrator' shaped like a plastic conch promises greater tech pleasure than even Apple could conceive

If there's one thing we don't get tired of, it's receiving emails about sex toys. It's a surprisingly common occurrence. That's because there's a growing trend recently towards 'connected' sex toys, and apparently, the British public can't get enough of them.

"Our mission is to carve an incredible future for masturbation; to design beautiful toys that enhance people's sex lives no matter what their relationship status or personal needs - advances in technology are just making it that little bit easier, and more exciting for all of us!"

So says Adam Lewis, co-founder of Hot Octopuss and designer of sex toys, in an email that his company sent to us. He's like the Jonny Ive of frot-based tech, we expect, and this week he's 'plugging' the PULSE II collection, which has "got people the world over screaming (literally) for more." Not our words, the words of Octopuss' press people.

We were intrigued to learn that, "unlike other toys, the Hot Octopuss PULSE II collection toys use PulsePlate technology, which delivers high-amplitude oscillations rather than low-amplitude vibrations." So it's like sitting on a washing machine during an especially vigourous spin cycle, we imagine.

Hot Octopuss, it seems, is a master of the 'guybrator' (that's a vibrator for guys). Earlier this year, it launched a revolutionary couples toy, PULSE II DUO, "and has big plans to continue taking the market by storm over the coming months."

It was at this point in the press release that it became apparent to us that the tech elements here are limited at best. On the other hand, it's a slow news day.