Sandisk Imagemate

Monolithic in design and proudly angled like an Easter Island statue, SanDisk’s doomsday device doubles as a memory card reader for your PC or Mac. It has a top write speed of 34Mbps, supports cards of every creed and size from MultiMediaCardmobile to xD-Picture Card Type H, and can be detached from its magnetic stand.

Price: £23, shop.sandisk.com

Elektra Microcasa a Leva

Yes, it is a little over the top isn’t it? This regal contraption looks like something a gay fascist dictator might have in his beautifully appointed yet sinister kitchen. The 110-volt, chrome-clad lever espresso machine comes from Italian caffe royalty Elektra and sports a 49mm portafilter, powerful heating element and spring-loaded lever for easy, consistent pressure.

Price: £670, www.myespresso.co.uk

Belkin N52TE

Belkin’s mouse, despite its appearance, is not stolen from the set of Transformers 3: All The Money’s Run Out. No, this blue-glowing monstrosity is a top-end gaming mouse that unfurls to reveal 15 customisable keys, an eight-way non-slip thumb pad and a removable joystick, all of which can be programmed to suit different gaming requirements, from MMORPG to FPS via RTS.

Price: £33, www.belkin.com

Vertu V Bluetooth headset

Vertu’s phones are over-engineered to within an inch of their lives. So too, inevitably, is this premium, hands-free earpiece. Looking like a fighter jet’s landing gear the V weighs 17G, has a six-hour talk time and boasts digital sound enhancement so you can more clearly hear conversations relating to how enormous an amount of money you’ve made today.

Price: £510, store.vertu.com

Alessi handheld vacuum cleaner

What appears at first glance to be a surfacing humpback whale is, in fact a handheld vacuum cleaner. Designed by Italian architect Stefano Giovannoni for Alessi this rechargeable and wall-mountable silken curve of a hand vacuum is hewn from stainless steel and thermoplastic resin. Two levels of suck-power are offered for both wet and dry surfaces.

Price: £88, www.alessi.co.uk