Sometimes the most mundane tech things in life can get adrenaline coursing through your veins...
Adrenaline junkies, don't you just hate them? We all know one. He's the guy with the tan lines who carries his passport everywhere so he can show you all his immigration stamps, forever wittering on about being chasing by bulls whilst tightroping across the Grand Canyon, and bungee jumping off the moon.
But the joke's on him - he knows nothing of the rush that you get when you hit the vending machine double bubble. So read on, as we take a look at ten tech things that shouldn't be that big a deal... but we all know they are.
1. A fire alarm at work
As soon you hear its piercing call you’re in “school break” mode, un-tucking your inkstained shirt, using your tie as a bandana and drawing a Biro tattoo of a penis on your hand. You and your office mates gang up, giggle your way down the stairs and lark about on the pavement outside of the office for ten minutes. Which wouldn’t be so bad, but you’re blocking the ambulance trying to carry off people suffering third-degree burns and the effects of smoke inhalation.
2. Your home town being on TV
You grew up there, and you can go there any time you like, but seeing a one-minute clip of the place on My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding gives you an almost sexual thrill. Bonus excitement points if your street is on the news due to a grizzly murder. Minus points if you actually perpetrated said murder.
3. Films you own on the telly
Great Scott!! What luck! Back to the Future Part II is on Syfy on a Sunday afternoon, and it’s only halfway through! You momentarily stop reciting every single line to tell your partner, yet again, that Needles is played by Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but before you can even say, “Why would they have a fax machine in the toilet?” you realise she’s left you again.
4. Instant e-matiness
There are few tech things more thrilling than hitting it off with a stranger over email. You’ve sent off your CV and covering letter, and you get a near-instant reply from an HR representative, or even better, the potential boss. You sense an opening and reply back with an off-the-cuff joke or cultural reference, followed by a flurry of exclamation points. The radio silence that follows is more powerful than a kick in the balls.
5. Being alone in an airport
You got to Gatwick on time, your ticket worked, you’ve dumped your case and you made it through security. It’s just about to
turn 8am, and there’s two hours until you have to go to your gate. For these next two hours – you are James Bond. Albeit a Bond who will have a Guinness and a fry up in The Traveller’s Rest, before buying another travel adaptor, wine gums and The Mirror. But 007 nonetheless.
6. Vending machine double bubble
You came for crisps, but as soon as you see the Malteasers desperately clinging on for dear life like a chocolatey Harold Lloyd you know how things are going to play out. You glance over your shoulder, deftly slip in 60p, press B32 and send the confectionary to its death, along with his mate standing precariously behind. You walk back to your seat, nonchalantly inquire whether anyone wants a free bag and put your feet up on the desk like a f**king king.
7. Accidentally being undercharged
The feeling when a foodstuff goes through without registering on the supermarket scanner is akin to pulling off the Lufthansa Heist. Your master criminal facade is dented as you’re informed that it’s actually a two-forone; there’s nothing less debonair than a suited man running back from the till to find a second pack of mince.
8. Facebook rows
Watching two people conduct a fiery argument through the medium of The Zuck is the digital equivalent of the pub car park fist fight, complete with mates and girlfriends cheering, jeering and generally stirring up the ruckus. Fight! Fight! Fight!
9. Making music the easy way
Yes, we know ripping out the riff to Sweet Child O’ Mine on Guitar Hero is easier than doing it for real – we’ve tried and failed that enough times. And we know putting a preset techno loop over a preset drum break in Fruity Loops doesn’t make us Jamie XX. But dang it feels good…
Many a T3 lunch hour has been spent by stuffing our sandwiches full of Walkers’ finest, jabbing “FAIL” into YouTube and sitting back to enjoy idiot after idiot fall through glass tables, back flip on to their heads, fly from playground roundabouts at 100mph and skateboard into cars, potentially suffering paralysis as a result. Humankind at its best.