title: Vic Reeves Interview: Page 3 / url: Vic-Reeves-Interview-Page-3

T3: What is your favourite gadget?
VIC: I do like an apple corer. I like lots of cooking things. I’ve got a Kenwood Mini Mixer that I particularly like and use. If I was going to make, say for instance, a paste for a Thai green curry I would get my mini mixer out. Chuck the ingredients in and hey presto, there you are. Paste. That would probably cost me about 30 pence to make. If you buy a jar of it in the supermarket it would cost you £1.65. It’s a lot easier.

T3: So you’re saving anything up to £1.35 every time you use it…
VIC: You soon get your money back. Many a time.

T3: What is it about the apple corer that you like? Is it both a corer and a peeler or is it just a corer?
VIC: It’s just a corer. What I do want is an apple corer and peeler. I saw them, you can get them in Lakeland and you stick your apple on a prong, wind a winder and the chisel moves around the apple and completely peels the apple for you. That would be good in an old folks home of something.

T3: Or you could use it like a fruit lathe
VIC: Yeah, exactly that. What more pleasure could a man have than having a fruit lathe?

T3: Have you seen those ones where it like punches out the core using a mechanism?
VIC: Yeah that’s it! It punches out the core and dices your apple into 12 easy pieces. You can also get one that gets that massive thing out the middle of a mango. The stone. You can get a mango device that cuts a mango in half and gets rid of the stone.

T3: That’s pretty high precision, because a mango a lot of time is more stone than fruit. VIC: The mango device makes life a lot easier for the mango eater.

T3: The mango aficionado
VIC: The mango man. Yeah.

T3: Which games console is best?
VIC: I haven’t got one. I had an Xbox but I never used it. I’m not the one to talk about games consoles. I mean I’ve played games, but I tend to get really frustrated because I really just realised I’ve just wasted time. I tend to keep clear of them. The nearest I get to a game is Scrabble.

T3: You could play that online. That would be the technological way of playing it.
VIC: Well I like to play that with my wife and the kids in the kitchen with a bottle of wine.

T3: You could make it more high tech by playing it in the kitchen but both on a computer. It would be a bit like battleships, both playing on a laptop without seeing the other’s computer.
VIC: Well it would be of no surprise to you that I haven’t got a laptop either.

T3: Well in that case that wouldn’t work either... Do your kids have games consoles or are they not of a games age?
VIC: No they don’t. they have reams and reams of paper and boxes full of pens. They write books. If they get to a point where they want consoles, then I’ll think about it, but at the moment they haven’t made any enquiries.

T3: iPhone or Android?
VIC: I only recently found out what an Android is because I’ve got an iPhone. So I would say iPhone. I’ve got an app on it that tells me what times the trains come, when they’re going to turn up and where they are on the track. I like to see where trains are going even if I’m not getting on them. We’ve got a railway track at the end of our garden, so I can have a look on my train app, see what time the train’s going past, open the window and see if it’s accurate.

T3: Then write a letter to the developers if there’s any discrepancies.
VIC: Yeah, because I’ll know if it’s 30 seconds out.

*Someone comes to Vic’s door*

VIC: That was someone from World Vision. I don’t even know what that is. He had an orange vest on with World Vision printed on the front.

T3: Could be like Scientology or something?
VIC: I suspect it probably is. He was a very nice looking boy with a smile. I think he was probably going to try and sell me a new cult.

T3: What lurks behind that smile? A vision for the world: that’s the question they ask would-be psychopaths, “do you have a plan for this world? Or a vision?”
VIC: So if you have a plan, then you’re a psychopath? I guess that would be Mussolini, Hitler. They had plans for the world didn’t they? I have a plan to… make tea.

T3: And finally, if you could make a new gadget, what would you make?
VIC: On the Reeves and Mortimer show we came up with a lot of gadgets, including Licky Kicky the Home Security Dog. One of my favourites was a toothbrush. You had a toothbrush on a stick and another toothbrush on the other end, so you could, with your partner, clean your teeth at the same time. Or, as Bob pointed out, you could clean your arse at the same time.

T3: Well only if your arse was round the front of your body
VIC: With a bit of judicial modelling it is possible. With more of a walking stick shape, with a toothbrush coming out the walking stick handle end and a toothbrush on the other end, that is actually very possible.